Cyber Safety and Cell Phone Smarts

Just when you thought you had a handle on your child's internet use, Facebook, MySpace and all those online video games, it would appear that there's a new cause for concern.

By now you've probably seen at least a few sensational news stories on "Sexting" or exchanging sexual messages and/or photos via cell phone. While this new phenomenon is relatively troubling, we don't recommend boycotting the mobile phone altogether. Instead, be aware of the issues facing kids, especially those you may not have dealt with as a child. While sexting can carry serious consequences (legal and otherwise), cyber-bullying can be even more damaging to kids, especially if they don't know how to get help.

The Committee for Children has a number of resources focusing on cyber-bullying and media safety. For more information on sexting and what you can do about it, check out this article.

Recommended Reading for Parents

Below you will find a few books we recommend for parents. Whether you need more information on internet safety for your kids, or you're trying to figure out the best way to talk to your child about the birds and the bees, the following titles are all great resources.

Child Abuse on the Internet: Ending the Silence. By Carlos Arnaldo

How to Talk to Teens About Love, Relationships, and Sex. A Guide for Parents. By Amy G. Miron, M.S. and Charles D. Miron, PhD.

Protecting Your Children From Sexual Predators. By Leigh Baker

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe. By Gavin De Becker

Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect Through Parent Education. By N. Dickon Repucci

The Safe Child Book: A Common Sense Approach to Protecting Children and Teaching Children to Protect Themselves. By Sherryll Krazier, PhD.

Are You Board Member Material?

The Front Range Center for Assault Prevention is actively recruiting members for our Board of Directors. We are seeking motivated, creative leaders who want help keep Colorado communities safe. If you're ready to join a small organization that makes a HUGE impact, please email our Executive Director, Victoria Strong at victoria_frcap@msn.com for more information.

The Babysitter Speech

Trying to remember that great little speech you heard at the CAP Parent Meeting? The one you're supposed to give the kids in front of the babysitter? Here it is:

Before you leave your children with a sitter for the night, avoid saying "Now listen up, the babysitter is the boss. If I find out that you misbehaved while we were gone, you're in big trouble." While it's perfectly reasonable to expect your children to follow rules, you don't want give someone watching your children more power than they need. If your children perceive their sitter to have boundless authority over them, they will be more vulnerable to being manipulated by that person.

In order to tell your kids that you expect them to behave, while simultaneously empowering them to protect their rights, we recommend phrasing your message like this:

"Now I know you're going to do a really good job following the family rules tonight, and if anything happens that makes you feel sad, scared, or unsafe, that's the first thing we're going to talk about when I get back."

By saying this to your children in front of the babysitter, you let your kids know what is expected of them, while letting the sitter know that you are paying attention and your children will tell you if anything weird happens while you're out. This speech isn't just for babysitters; it can be used in front of coaches, teachers, relatives, etc. Anyone who will be alone with your child for an extended period of time.

CAP Works

It's not particularly easy to measure the effectiveness of prevention education. It's hard to count the number of incidents you caused to not happen. However, this story of a brave third-grader who thwarted a would-be abductor is a prime example of the effectiveness of the CAP curriculum. In addition to escaping her aggressor, this young girl also provided police with an extremely detailed description of the man and his vehicle, which allowed the authorities to quickly locate the suspect. Get the story here. And here.

CAP Around the World

The Front Range Center for Assault Prevention has served over 60,000 students and thousands of adults across Colorado in the last 12 years. While the FRCAP has made a tremendous impact since its inception over a decade ago, we are a small part of a global network of Child Assault Prevention projects operating all over the world.

The Child Assault Prevention (CAP) Program began in 1978 in Columbus, Ohio. The first CAP curriculum was authored by Women Against Rape (WAR) in response to the sexual assault of a young girl on her way home from school. After quickly spreading across the state of Ohio, local CAP projects were founded throughout the United States. Today, CAP Projects exist in 22 states and 16 countries under the umbrella of the International Center for Assault Prevention.

For an in depth look at the impact CAP is having around the globe, visit the ICAP Website. You'll learn about the founders and current leaders of the organization, CAP success stories, and terminology crucial to understanding the issue of child assault.

Local Resources

Child Sexual Assault is an extremely serious, complex, and silenced issue. While prevention education can be difficult and uncomfortable to talk about, figuring out how to identify, report, or treat abuse can be even tougher. Luckily, it isn't something you have to do alone.
Blue Sky Bridge is an advocacy center located in Boulder that offers a number of helpful resources for preventing, identifying, reporting, and treating child sexual assault.

Even if you don't live in the Boulder area, their website (www.blueskybridge.org) is full of great information for parents and adults who work with children. You'll find tips on internet safety, child assault statistics, links to sex offender registries, and countless other valuable tools.

We strongly encourage you to familiarize yourself with the resources in your community. We all hope that the children we care about never have to endure a traumatic situation, but if they do, our understanding of the resources available to them can make all the difference.